There are three unavoidable things in life: death, taxes and fashion. Faced with wars, natural disasters and skyrocketing fuel prices, we still yearn for a nice outfit. According to Forbes magazine, Ralph Lauren’s sales rose to $2.6 billion last year, putting him just ahead of Cuba in total sales (value of exports). In fact, total U.S. fashion spending was about $177 billion last year, which beats the total oil sales receipts of Saudi Arabia. Apparently, if we are going to hell in a hand bag, we prefer to make it a Louis Vuitton.

Since the fashion industry is more economically powerful than many countries today, it deserves its own flag, anthem and emblem: the fashion flag should logically be a little black dress on a pole, its anthem should be “I’m Too Sexy,” and its emblem should be the turkey vulture. Surprised at the last choice? Don’t be, because the turkey vulture is the perfect icon for fashion nation.

The turkey vulture is a common scavenger of the New World, living across South and North America, where its range is expanding northward due to global warming and the expansion of roads (thus roadkill). Turkey vultures eat dead animals, but will also eat pumpkins. They are closely related to storks, rather than hawks or eagles, which are raptors. This explains the turkey vulture’s utterly peaceful attitude and relatively weak foot structure.

Most of the bird is black, with brown and silvery highlights, like the color palate of Miuccia Prada’s Fall/Winter line. The vulture wears its coat with the indifferent attitude of a Euro club hopper, but the carrion-eater kicks it up a notch by accessorizing the dark body with a stunningly bald red head. Evolutionarily speaking, the featherless head is designed to enter into a carcass and come out free of rotting flesh. The bits that do stick are exposed to the air and sun and quickly dry out and fall off. The reason for the red is a mystery, but it’s likely related to status and dominance within the venue, which is the fashionable name for a group of vultures.

Image-wise, turkey vultures also have quite a lot in common with bony, strutting fashion models. First of all, vultures readily vomit. The reason for the vomiting is not to fit into a size zero, but to quickly lighten its load to make a fast getaway from a predator and as a very effective repellant against any threat. To a vulture, vomit is onboard mace.

Models take very good care of their skin, especially along their long legs, which they slather with all types of creams, oils and other beauty products. Turkey vultures care for their legs, too, but instead of using a cucumber scrub, the bird defecates on itself. The liquidy poo contains strong acids that kill any bacteria the bird picks up while traipsing on its food. It also cools the bird as it evaporates, keeping the legs clean and comfortable. Who knows, once this article appears in Vogue, we may see vulture excrement at boutiques for $100 a bottle.

A model posing at a photo shoot is a marvel of self confidence and sex appeal. Vultures, too, have a memorable pose, so much so that it has its own name: the horaltic pose. This is the classic vulture image of the bird sitting on a dead branch, with its giant black wings spread wide and facing the sun. The posture is believed to serve multiple functions: it dries the wings, warms the body and cooks off bacteria. The sight of a venue of vultures paying homage to the rising sun in full horaltic pose is quite awe-inspiring.

In addition to their chic appearance, the turkey vulture is a great air traveler. During migration, the turkey vulture will use its wingspan of six feet to ride rising hot air masses called thermals up thousands of feet, then to glide down near the ground to catch the next natural elevator up. By not flapping those massive wings, the vulture saves valuable energy. In fact, a turkey vulture can be airborne for six hours at a time without a single flap. Being able to travel long distances is essential to attend Fashion Week events and the Vulture Day celebration on March 15 in Hinckley, Ohio, where for 50 years, the town has celebrated the return of turkey vultures to Buzzards Roost.

Like models at work, vultures are usually silent. Instead of flute-like calls, these birds cluck, whine, growl and croak. They will even hiss when disturbed. Word of warning: hissing is usually the precursor to vomiting.

Vultures also have exquisite senses of smell. Most birds can not smell at all, but the turkey vulture can sniff out a stiff faster than a Manhattanite can track down a bargain-priced Vera Wang. To a turkey vulture, the sent of decaying flesh is like Obsession; they can smell it miles away, a fact that natural gas companies have used to their advantage. Fifty years ago, companies would test long natural gas pipelines for leaks by blowing in a strong smelling gas containing ethyl mercaptan so people could easily find leaks (natural gas is odorless). That chemical is also emitted from dead animals, and thus it attracts turkey vultures. In vast remote areas, company workers were able to find pipeline leaks by seeing turkey vultures circling above the lines.

It is important to note that both vultures and fashion industry people play important roles in life. The high-powered fashion industry fuels the economic ecology of the world by creating the fashions that set the trends that fill the retail stores that employ the millions of people to say “Three items? Dressing room five.” Vultures, too, provide a valuable service by cleaning up dead animals and preventing the spread of some very nasty diseases. Not surprisingly, turkey vultures have a fabulous immune system that easily handles botulism, salmonella and other deadly diseases.

Both in the fashion and vulture world there are knock-offs. Inexpensive copies of top designer wear show up in malls within weeks of their debut on Milan runways. In nature, this is called mimicry, when one animal takes on the appearance of another to gain an advantage. In the southwestern United States, the zone-tailed hawk mimics a turkey vulture so it can blend in with the carrion-loving birds. Mice and other live creatures are not afraid of turkey vultures because they know the birds prefer their dinner deceased. So when the relaxed mouse strolls into the open, the zone-tailed hawk leaves the vultures behind and swoops down on the duped rodent.

Perhaps the best way to see how vultures and fashion blend so well together is by viewing the recent film “The Devil Wears Prada.” In it, Meryl Streep plays Miranda Priestly, fashion editor of the powerful “Runway” magazine. The vulture-esque Miranda is stylishly dressed mostly in black, accented only by her contrasting hair color. She soars above her minions at the office and keeps her comments to ruthless growls and whines when her whims have not been anticipated. All in all she is repulsive, yet everyone admires her for her talents and her vital role in the industry.

“The Devil Wears Prada” is still in theaters and can be seen in video stores late this fall. Turkey vultures will be leaving the Seacoast late this fall to escape the coming winter, but they can be seen gliding over the countryside this summer, looking for a ripe meal.