Nabisco Oreo ChocoStix is another example of the brand recycling common to so many modern food-like products: here’s a new Oreo product, we’re told, even though it’s not a, you know, Oreo. So, what does that mean?

It does not mean this is an exotic new candy hybrid concocted in the secret Nabisco candy labs. It does mean this is an adequate chocolate wafer stick, covered in chocolate, with the Oreo name stamped on it by a team of soulless marketing people. It really doesn’t taste like an Oreo at all, nor does it capture any of the texture or experience of eating that beloved bicolor junkfood cookie—with the exception of that muddy feeling in your mouth after eating one, like you’re going to have to brush your teeth extra-hard to scrub out the Oreo-dirt; that, the ChocoStix re-creates well.

Our favorite detail of the packaging is the proclamation on the front, “Made With REAL CHOCOLATE,” as if this were a special treat, as if we would see this in an ad and exclaim to our family, “My God, there’s finally a candy product out there with REAL CHOCOLATE in it! Warm up the station wagon, we’re going to get one before they run out, hot diggity!” In reality, it’s like saying to the buyer, “For you, we’ve included a trace amount of actual food in this product.”

It’s too bad you can’t tell from the taste.