a.k.a. ‘Ragewar’

Ragewar Productions, 1984

starring: Jeffrey Byron, Leslie Wing, and Richard Moll

directed by: Dave Allen, Charles Band, and others

the plot: Computer technician Paul Bradford (Byron) is on the cutting edge of technology. He shares a mental link with his advanced computer, X-CALIBR8, and can do everything from hacking into ATMs to changing traffic lights. It’s great for his career, but bad for his relationship with Gwen (Wing), who believes Paul is more devoted to his computer than to her. His love for Gwen is put to the test when the evil wizard Mastema (Moll) appears and kidnaps Gwen into his mystical realm. The wizard issues Paul a challenge: if he can survive seven challenges and defeat the wizard in single combat, Paul can save Gwen’s soul. But if he fails, Gwen will be condemned to spend eternity in Mastema’s realm. Paul accepts, and aided by his wrist-top computer and mental link to X-CALIBR8, he sets out to complete Mastema’s deadly challenge.

why it’s good: Let’s get one thing straight: “The Dungeonmaster” is lousy. But it’s a curious sort of lousy—the kind of lousy in which a half-dozen or so cinematic trends, clichés, and unformed ideas are thrown together in the hope that they’ll form a whole greater than the sum of its parts. They don’t, and that might be because Charles Band somehow roped in six other directors for “The Dungeonmaster,” under the conceit that Mastema’s seven challenges should be seven separate vignettes. I use the term vignette loosely, since each sequence lasts only about eight minutes (the film’s run-time is barely over an hour), and Paul, the heroic computer technician, barely figures out what’s going on before he shoots something with a laser and moves on to the next challenge. The audience will have plenty of questions, though, and you’ll ponder why Mastema feels threatened by a fancy computer when he controls an entire realm full of magic beasts. All Paul’s wrist-computer can do is shoot lasers and generate high-pitched sounds, but hey, maybe the wizard should be afraid. You might also wonder why Mastema’s challenges read like the contents of a 16-year-old’s comic collection circa 1984: “Dungeons & Dragons” style fantasy mashed together with “Tron,” “Mad Max,” hair metal, and some token horror elements thrown in. None of the elements work, and “The Dungeonmaster” feels like a cobbled-together “try-out” film for Band’s production company. Based on the shoddy makeup and awful puppets, it doesn’t look like any of those full-length features would go that well. For some reason, Band roped in the hair metal band WASP for a scene in which Paul must fight them to save Gwen. It’s not too much of a fight, though: Paul uses his computer to emit a high-frequency sound wave and the band vanishes. If only things had been that easy in the ’80s.

why you should own it: Avoid “The Dungeonmaster” if you can, unless you absolutely must see Richard Moll rocking a mullet and shooting blue lasers out of his hands. It’s a slice of ’80s cheese best left to molder on its own.