Film reviews

'Haywire'

Rated R: Though she exudes a definite animal charisma and solidly commanding presence, surrounding Carano with such a high-power boys club (there is not one other female character in the whole show) only serves to crisply define the emptiness of the space she’s supposed to inhabit. She delivers her few perfunctory lines like she’s pounding a sandbag, and, just as she repeatedly makes human ThighMasters out of her costars, she squeezes every bit of life out of their performances, as well.

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'The Artist'

Rated PG-13: In the winter, studios populate theaters with big, serious awards-contenders and misfit (usually mediocre) flicks they never got around to releasing earlier in the year. “The Artist” straddles the line between the two camps—it’s already racked up some awards (including honors at Cannes and a few Golden Globes), but it’s also an alien visitor to Planet Multiplex. Where are the crazy CG effects? How come the cute dog isn’t saying something sassy or pooping on the hero? A mostly silent, black-and-white film, it features real actors fervently, joyfully acting, and only a few special effects.

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'Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy'

Rated R: John LeCarré’s famous 1974 spy novel, “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy,” wasn’t written as a period piece, but it seems necessary to treat it that way now. LeCarré himself had worked for British intelligence for years before he quit to become a writer, and though his novels are fiction, they’re steeped in the sort of veracity that could only come from actually living through the Cold War inside the cold heart of MI5 and MI6.

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'The Adventures of Tintin'

Rated PG: One of the key elements that may have enamored readers around the world to the adventures of Tintin—a plucky boy journalist who fought corruption, solved mysteries and chased adventure in a Belgian comic series for more than half of the 20th century—was how well it balanced complexity of story with accessibility of style. Tintin, in both character and form, was drawn with bold, precise lines, subtle colors and no shading whatsoever. He subsequently became a wonderfully blank slate for followers to imprint themselves onto, step into his shoes, and actively engage in the adventures of imagination in which he was so often embroiled.

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‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’

Rated R: Over the years, David Fincher has shown himself to be a director of risk, invention and vision, often taking on projects of surprising, and sometimes confounding, subject matter. Risk doesn’t always equal success, however. For every “Fight Club” there’s a “Panic Room”; for each “Zodiac,” there’s a “The Game.”

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Sherlock v. Sherlock

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” versus “Sherlock” (BBC One)

While the viewing public goes back to see a sequel because we liked the original and are interested in seeing the story and characters carried on in a similar vein, into something new and surprising and even better, filmmakers instead treat sequels like some sort of victory lap, a madcap reunion party of all the people who made the first movie, and as a reward they got money to make a second one and they’re all so happy they show up drunk or high and just throw something together that looks like it might have been fun to make, but hoo boy it sure doesn’t make much sense.

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'The Descendants'

Rated R: Clooney trades his suave confidence for confusion and pain. He also gets to be funny, not in the cartoonish way he uses when cast in Coen Brothers films, but in an understated, affable way. His scenes with Woodley are precise moments of a father and daughter struggling to forge at first an uneasy alliance and, later, an actual relationship.

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'The Muppets'

rated PG: No one with a hint of love in their hearts could want to dislike a madcap, song ’n’ dance infused escapade of talking frogs, stand-up bears and bug-eyed monsters with an itch to entertain. It was, no doubt, the goal of the latest Muppet feature’s creative team to do justice to the memory of Jim Henson and his wild little bunch of beasties. Their adoration of the man’s work is right on the screen, as is their apprehension of getting his recipe wrong. Many have called Henson a genius, and whether you agree with that or not is between you and your own heart, but that’s a lot to live up to.

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'Hugo'

rated PG: “Hugo,” made for film lovers, by film lovers, is a breed of cinema becoming more endangered by the week, one that encourages curiosity, rewards participation, and absolutely earns the right to be seen on the biggest screen you can get to, with as many friends and family you can bring along.

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'J. Edgar'

Rated R: Early in Clint Eastwood’s “J. Edgar,” we learn that there’s history, and then there’s history as told by J. Edgar Hoover. As played by Leonardo DiCaprio, Hoover is a man whose obsession with fact and truth ends when the subject is himself. The film opens with Hoover dictating a biography of his career to a junior FBI agent. The goal, he says, is to write something that clearly defines the heroes and villains of history.

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'Page Eight'

PBS walks softy and carries a big stick. When considering great contemporary television, it’s easy to forget all about them, even though their stations have been bringing excellent and diverse shows to us for decades. It shouldn’t be a surprise, however, since the big stick, the secret weapon they’ve been swinging for years, is none other than the BBC, a giant which is arguably the source of the greatest television in the world.

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'The Rum Diary'

Rated R: Without even glimpsing a preview, this film carries default appeal on a number of fertile grounds. First, it’s based on a novel by Hunter S. Thompson, the mad gun-toting, motorcycle-riding, drug-gobbling, booze-swilling journalist and American cult icon with millions of rabid fans insatiably hungry for any new Gonzo material.

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'The Three Muskateers'

rated PG-13: In the current adaptation of “The Three Musketeers,” the object of desire is a secret plan for a flying warship designed by Leonardo Da Vinci. Silk threads delicately strung across the vault’s hallway are set to trigger a powerful array of crossbows hidden behind the walls as Milla Jovovich twirls and vaults her way to sweaty, explosive triumph.

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'The Thing'

Rated R: There are remakes, there are replications, and then there’s “The Thing” of 2011. Based on John Carpenter’s 1982 film of the same name, which in turn was based on the 1951 film “The Thing From Another World” (which was an adaptation of the 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. short story, “Who Goes There?”), the latest “The Thing” is part remake, part prequel, and part reboot.

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'Moneyball'

Rated PG-13: Surely, a team of misfit players that nobody else wants will win the day. They do and they don’t, but “Moneyball” is more concerned with the men behind the near wins than the actual losses. Pitt captures the essential conflict in Beane’s character: he’s a guy who’s all heart, but one who knows that all the old equations don’t truly add up.

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'Drive'

Rated R

“Languid” is not a word typically associated with a fuel-injected crime thriller, but “Drive” is exactly that. Refn’s camera simply caresses the neon Los Angeles landscape, drifting meditatively to a gentle, sighing, ’80s-infused synth score, evoking feelings more along the lines of “Blade Runner” than “Gone in 60 Seconds.” Far more art than action, Refn’s direction shows no fear of silence, and like the best noir narratives, allows the shadows to tell the story, isolation to define the romance and, in properly European fashion, for mysteries to be answered by more questions.

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Attack the Block

Rated R: With this superb debut feature, writer/director Joe Cornish reminds us that despite Hollywood’s frequent insistence that extraterrestrials need a reason to invade us (more often than not, apparently, to blow up our national monuments and poach our stuff), at its root, the word “alien” means simply, foreign or strange. The power of aliens, as a plot device, is embedded in the protagonists’ inability to fathom the depths or dimensions of an indefinite threat.

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‘Our Idiot Brother’

rated R: Ned’s a fool, but a holy one, spreading sweetness and light to all the squares he encounters. He’s a close cousin to The Dude in “The Big Lebowski,” but in search of his dog instead of a new rug.

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‘Conan the Barbarian’

Rated R: How is it that a simple savage warrior from the imaginary world of Hyborea could endure in the popular consciousness for eight decades? It might be that his creator, Robert E. Howard, distilling the anxieties of an era of economic strife and cultural distrust, tapped into something visceral and archetypical with his blatant escape into raw, snarling, masculinity.

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'30 Minutes or Less'

Rated R: The title of “30 Minutes or Less” doubles as a measure for how long the movie should actually last. That it stumbles on for 90 minutes, with its paper-thin concept and a noticable lack of comedy, seems improbable and unreasonable

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'Rise of the Planet of the Apes'

Rated PG-13: In reality, some things, like running down the street trying to protect your soft bits, may not be so much better with monkeys.

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‘Cowboys & Aliens’

Rated PG-13: “Cowboys & Aliens” is a movie based on a comic based on a poster, which wouldn’t be so bad if the film ever moved beyond its own premise. But it doesn’t, and the crazy thrills promised by the idea of cowboys slugging it out with aliens never materialize.

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