As a songwriter, Guy Capecelatro III writes so many tunes-ranging from the libidinous (She could drive with one hand and touch you with the other/ until you creamed your jeans) to the sweet (You've got on that flower dress/ that makes you feel pretty)-he carries the printed lyrics around in a three-ring binder as a means of organization.

A performing musician, both solo and in Unbunny, who remembers "what a sickening experience it is to play out," he shyly rushes through his set, beginning the consecutive song as the applause begins to die out.

His record label, Two Ton Santa, strictly releases music by friends and bands he loves, "deeply," mostly because he doesn't want it to become a job.

Oh, he also runs his own landscaping business ("because somebody's got to tend to the flowers"), writes short stories (which "end up being bull-dogged into songs"), and has a delectable scramble named for him on The Friendly Toast menu.

"I've chosen to put my efforts into a lot of different talents. So, I've ended up being mediocre at a lot of things. Like sex," he says, nodding, with eyebrows raised.

Unlike mediocre sex, his experiences in the Portsmouth music scene for the past 17 years are fascinating, peculiar, funny and a bit zany.

These days, he plays bass with Unbunny, the band for whom his label has released albums Fission Romance the West, Viewmaster ep, Book and Roll, and, earlier this year, Black Strawberries. Unbunny singer/songwriter, Jarid del Deo, who's known this "good-natured, funny sort of guy with a nerdy, artsy, intellectual side" since 1996, marvels at his originality. "One thing about Guy that strikes me as magnificent, he's got a really unique sound. He's got the biggest record collection of anyone I know, but he doesn'tsound like any of it. You know how some bands, you can guess what their influences are. But, he has his own sounds and own voice, with these unique and interesting narratives in his songs."

Guy picked up the guitar when he was 10 years old, allegedly "never getting any better at it" after 20-something years of playing. Growing up in Mamaroneck, New York, high school memories are "driving to the Bronx at lunch time for bags of crappy pot sprayed with hairspray to make it seem more bud-like." He left that all behind in order to study philosophy at Plymouth State College. Quitting after two years, he traveled around the U.S., hitting 42 of the 50 states. He moved into Portsmouth in 1987, resuming his studies at UNH while enjoying public transportation (though he had a car) as it "provided a lot of fodder for stories because freaky people take the bus," and graduated with his philosophy degree in 1989.

In 1988, Gordon Carlisle was hosting a series of experimental hoots at The Button Factory in Portsmouth. "Having taken a lot of drugs and taken part in the performance art scene in New York, I decided I wanted to do it," Guy remarks.

Dom Leone and cousin Dan, both originally from Ohio, were frequent hoot-goers living the creative high life, enthralled with the experimentally charged community. "We immediately gravitated to one another," says Guy of Dom and Dan. "They stuck out from what was going on at the time." The Leone boys were in the midst of distributing their magazine, Two Ton Santa, which was one folded sheet of paper creating four pages worth of poetry, artwork and short stories, all for the low price of five cents. A total steal.

Dan had met fellow students of academic ennui, Ray Halliday and Carrie Bradley, while in the UNH graduate writing program. With Dom as the main songwriter, the literary illuminati wove storytelling into song as the band Ed's Redeeming Qualities. Heavily involved in the underground literary and open mike scene in the Northeast, their sound appealed to such listeners as Kim Deal, who later covered Dom's "Drivin' On 9" on her 1993 album, Last Splash. Ed's Redeeming Qualities began to gain notoriety and esteem in the Boston music scene, starting a "really fun" weekly gig at The Rathskeller (The Rat) in Boston, a variety show with jugglers, readings and "all sorts of crazy stuff."

Our Guy Capecelatro III, at the time, was one half of the acoustic duo Bob and Guy, singing songs about robots, philandering cowboys, and what's hidden in the underwear drawer. He had unofficially become a member of a larger collective of "all these really amazing writers and artists."

In 1989, Dom Leone was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer and died shortly thereafter. A benefit show featuring Throwing Muses and Buffalo Tom, among others, honored the writer and musician who had influenced artists from all over the country. "SubPop was thinking of doing a tribute album, which didn't happen, so I did it almost 10 years later," says Guy. The album, Guess Who This Is, was released by Guy in 2001. All told, 22 musicians delivered their own versions of Dom's beloved songs of humor and humanness. San Francisco bands Warm Wires, The Buckets, and Fuck (whose alternate name is "The Funny Bunnies," for those opposed to profanity), as well as Calexico, TW Walsh, Milkweed, and Mark Kozelek of Red House Painters (performing "My Friend Bob" with gorgeous, melancholic acoustic ease), and Nervous Plants (the alias of Unbunny's Jarid del Deo) interpreted Leone's work. The project inspired Guy to start his own record label, aptly entitled Two Ton Santa Records. As is the way with a labor of love and not money, Guy currently gets a lot of things in the mail for prospective Two Ton Santa bands, things which might, conceivably, "move some units," but he's too "fascinated with things that may never see the light of day," like an album of his own songs sung by others, since he doesn't like the sound of his own voice.

Between 1988 and the birth of his record label, Guy was in the bands Fancy Pants, Toast, Size of Guam, The Driveways, Up-a-Tree, Beekeeper, The Pants, Bob & Guy and The Crotch Wax Menace, "and probably some others I'm forgetting as well," he guesses.

Sometimes, it was a one- or two-gig existence for the band, sometimes not. Sometimes, it was just a matter of trading musicians in and out of bands because everyone was connected to the same people and places. He played with the country band The Buckets, now based out of San Francisco, and comprised of Ray Halliday, Mary Lou Lord and Carrie Bradley. He headed up Two Ton Santa (the band, not the label), a two bass, drums and guitar ensemble with one singer. Guy's band Milk of Magnesia, "a psychedelic band, almost," opened their first show at The Rat with a faux imbibing of magnesia milk, inspiring audience members to volunteer their own drinking efforts, only they swallowed the real thing, which Guy seems to think they enjoyed quite a bit. When The Warm Penguin caf? opened on Portsmouth's Congress Street, Guy covered Hendrix hits with an accordion and sang originals through an oscillating fan, accompanied by a cacophony of blenders and vacuum at the weekly open mike night.

Continuing the legacy of Two Ton Santa magazine, Guy continued to publish and distribute issues 10-99, picking up where Dom's unforeseen demise had left off. Much of what Dom Leone had loved is in those pages-disturbing and poignant stories of humanity and trust, pets and television shows, regale the pages.

And in 1992, the much-famed Elvis Room opened its doors in the little town of Portsmouth.

"The Elvis Room provided a great venue for alternative kinds of music in town," says Guy. "Bands I never thought would come this way showed up; Silkworm, Vic Chesnutt, The Mommyheads, Babe the Blue Ox, Fuck, Low, Team Dresch, Giant Sand, Engine Kid, Smog, Elliot Smith, and so on. Having access to such acts and a great place to play seemed to really grow the scene in a way I hadn't seen until then or since. I felt inspired to do good things."

Guy considers the current Portsmouth Portsmouth music scene. "The Muddy River is really starting to do some interesting things and bring in some diverse shows, though."

With his ingenious talents spanning the flowerbeds and the nervously approached stage, one might never guess this songwriter/performer/landscaper also has a mean forehand in Ultimate Frisbee, once raced Motorcross bikes, and was on the wrestling team in high school. Between all that, running Two Ton Santa Records, and cameos at The Friendly Toast, he continues to write his mostly abbreviated songs, which he lovingly describes as "little story vehicles"-"like a paper boat. Sliding into the ocean. On fire."