Candy donuts?! Mama mia!

Yes, it’s true, it’s a 1/3 scale “donut” made entirely of chocolate and covered in sprinkles. They have a milk chocolate shell filled with a barely-distinguishable fudgy-chocolate center, and they are dense! They’re so heavy and rich that you’ll want to nibble at them, but the shell and center tend to separate and fall apart.

We at the Small Foods Index hate to admit this, but these candy donuts are really not an adult food. They’re too sweet and messy for grown-up palates. But for corrupting children, they’re perfect. Maybe even babies. Picture it: tiny spit-soaked raccoon-hands grip the cute toy-sized donuts, then gum down into the fudgy part while colored beads fall into, around and under the stroller in a sticky cascade; meanwhile, the concentrated sugar is sucked straight into the blood like heroin.

Makes us think of The Hudsucker Proxy—“You know, for kids!”