Filmways Pictures, 1981
starring: Brian Matthews, Leah Ayres, Brian Backer and
Lou David
directed by: Tony Maylam

The plot: Cropsy (David), the caretaker at Camp Blackfoot, is targeted one evening by a group of mischievous campers. Angry at Cropsy for his bad attitude and prodigious drinking, the campers plant a human skull with a lit candle on a table next to his bed. Cropsy awakens, panics and is soon engulfed in flames. The campers run off, horrified at their prank gone awry, while Cropsy is left to recover from his wounds. Five years later, Cropsy is released from the hospital, his face and body hideously disfigured. Where does he go but Camp Stonewater, a new camp built across the river from the former site of Camp Blackfoot. There, Cropsy finds a new batch of campers, led by counselors Todd (Matthews) and Michelle (Ayres). As Cropsy lurks about, one camper, Alfred (Backer), takes all the blame for the weird happenings around camp. When Todd and Michelle take a group of teens out on a canoe trip, Cropsy follows closely with his favorite murder weapon—a pair of gardening shears—at the ready.

Why it’s good: “The Burning” is an unrepentant rip-off of “Friday the 13th,” from the summer camp setting and the horribly disfigured killer to the gruesome gore by special effects guru Tom Savini. It’s not even that great a rip-off—the scares are few and far between, and any suspense is promptly killed by Tony Maylam’s frightfully boring direction. What makes “The Burning” so notable? In addition to being laughably bad (more about that later), “The Burning” is the film that jump-started the careers of producers Harvey and Bob Weinstein, who went on to found Miramax Films, which means Quentin Tarrantino wouldn’t be a household name if it weren’t for a movie about a pissed off janitor armed with some gardening shears. The movie also features the first on-screen appearances of Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Holly Hunter, none of whom make it out of the movie alive. What makes “The Burning” bearable, though, is the utter foolishness that fills it, from the beginning, when Cropsy knocks a flaming skull on to not only his bed but a full can of gasoline resting at the foot of his bed, right to the end, when what should be a thrilling climax is drawn out into a seemingly unending chase through the woods. In fact, there are lots of scenes like this, with characters running through the woods or paddling canoes with such ferocious slowness that it’s a relief when Cropsy finally shows up. And wouldn’t you know it? With a “Friday the 13th” remake in the works, the Weinsteins are looking to cash in once again and remake “The Burning,” proving that, after 27 years in Hollywood, the Weinstein brothers are officially out of ideas.

Why you should own it: Apart from the curiosity factor of seeing Jason Alexander and Fisher Stevens flash their bare behinds on camera and some decent Tom Savini effects, “The Burning” isn’t necessary to have in your collection. Though it’s just asking for colorful commentary from the likes of Stevens and Alexander, but sadly, MGM’s DVD is without any extras.