the plot: In post-apocalyptic America, procreation isn’t something you do for fun—it’s mandated by the government. Virile men are the key to rebuilding society, even when they’re dirt-bags, and that’s precisely the reason Sam Hell (Piper) gets plucked from the clutches of an angry lawman and drafted into government service. His mission: infiltrate Frogtown, a radioactive wasteland home to some socially maladjusted frog-human hybrids, and rescue a half-dozen fertile, nubile women held captive by the evil Commander Toty. Joining Sam is Spangle (Bergman), his government-appointed handler, and Centinella (Verrell), the foxy combat veteran assigned to protect Sam and his potent package. Their only ally in Frogtown is Looney Tunes (Calhoun), a crazy old miner and the only human stupid or insane enough to hang out in Frogtown. Sam confronts the deadly Commander Toty, but as he quickly learns, even the Earth’s most virile man is no match for angry mutant frogs.

why it’s good: As a professional wrestler, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper was good at two things: wearing a kilt and kicking ass. As an actor, Piper ditched the kilt but kept up the fisticuffs, usually smashing the faces of a variety of mutants, aliens and, on one memorable occasion, Keith David. It turns out, though, that Piper is a pretty alright B-movie actor, possessed of a cocksure attitude tempered with good humor and charm. A good sense of humor is a prerequisite for any movie in which the hero’s genitals are hooked up to what’s basically an explosive chastity belt, and this preoccupation with punching and penetrating is what makes “Frogtown” pulpy, cheesy fun. Piper does get to kick a lot of frog ass, but the fight scenes are so badly choreographed and edited that they make Piper’s performances in the wrestling ring look like pure realism. While the fight scenes are clumsy, there is some decent dancing, courtesy of Bergman, a professionally-trained dancer who lead a steamy number in “All That Jazz” and had roles in “Conan the Barbarian” and “Red Sonja.” (There’s also some dancing by a frog stripper, but really, the less said about that, the better.) Bergman performs the “Dance of the Three Snakes” for Commander Toty and, well, let’s just say those three snakes are exactly what you think they are.

why you should own it: “Hell Comes To Frogtown” almost demands to be shown alongside Piper’s other starring role in “They Live,” and while it’s not as worthy of owning as “They Live,” “Frogtown” is definitely worth renting. Anchor Bay’s DVD features commentary by director Jackson and writer Randall Frakes. In what can be described only as a fit of optimism, Jackson went on to direct three more Frogtown sequels: “Return to Frogtown,” “Toad Warrior” and “Max Hell: Frog Warrior.” Jackson made other films but kept returning to the “Frogtown” franchise, proving that much like Hotel California, you can check out of Frogtown anytime you like, but you can never leave.