a.k.a ‘The Horrible House on the Hill’

Barrister Productions, Inc., 1974

starring: Gene Evans, Taylor Lacher, John Durren and Leif Garrett
directed by: Sean MacGregor

the plot: Three couples gather for a business vacation in a remote mountain town. The rich and cantankerous Papa Doc (Evans), owner of a number of hospitals and sanitariums, is about to bequeath his newest facility to his son-in-law, Rick (Lacher), even though Papa Doc can barely disguise his contempt for Rick. Apart from some petty squabbles, the vacation is relatively calm—that is, until a bedraggled group of five children suddenly appear at the house. Led by a boy named David (Garrett), the children explain that they were on their way to a new parochial school when their bus crashed, killing everyone onboard but them. Papa Doc and the rest take in the children, unaware that they are actually malicious killers who were being transported to a psychiatric hospital. When the adults aren’t looking, the children secretly skulk about the house, setting up elaborate traps and making plans to dispatch the clueless adults. Their first victim is Ralph (Durren), the kind-hearted but slow-witted caretaker of the property. When Rick and Papa Doc find Ralph’s corpse, they begin to suspect something is wrong with their pint-sized guests. But the children’s malicious machinations are already at work.

why it’s good: Leif Garrett has been many things—teen idol, VH1 host, celebrity punch-line—but his turn as a psychotic cross-dressing teen in “Devil Times Five” remains a largely forgotten highlight of his career. It’s too bad, because “Devil” is a semi-decent grindhouse flick, chock full of creepy kids, gory murders and a splash of gratuitous nudity. It’s not a classic by any means, and, at 88 minutes, it’s probably about an hour too long, but it’s worth watching for the ridiculously bloody climax that includes a bathtub full of piranhas, a ceiling-mounted swinging scythe and a pile of bear traps. Are the elaborate deathtraps in “Devil” a precursor to the Rube Goldberg-style mayhem in “Home Alone,” albeit with more blood and less Daniel Stern? Probably not, but it does make you wonder where these kids learned how to engineer makeshift murder machines so well. All the adults in the film are so unlikable, though, that it’s no great loss when they stumble blindly to their deaths. And, while creepy, the kids are pretty boring, though that may be because so much time is spent watching Papa Doc, Rick and the rest of the adults bicker like little kids. “Devil” also features a grab bag of appearances by 1960s and ’70s TV actors, including Sorrell Brooke—Boss Hogg on “The Dukes of Hazard”—and Shelley Morrison, who starred in “The Flying Nun.” “Devil” was also a family affair for Garrett. His sister, Dawn Lyn, co-starred as one of the terrible tykes and their mother, Carolyn Stellar, played Papa Doc’s wife, the victim of the aforementioned piranha attack. If feeding your mom to flesh eating fish doesn’t promote family togetherness, nothing does.

why you should own it: The best part of “Devil Times Five” is the final 25 minutes. The rest is full of pretty boring set-up that you can safely skip, so it’s advisable to rent “Devil” before picking up distributor Code Red’s DVD. The disc features a theatrical trailer, an alternate opening sequence and interviews with many of the cast members except for Leif Garrett, who was in jail at the time