the plot: It’s the last day of high school, and Jenny (Ford) wants to celebrate by having a sleepover at her house. All the most popular girls in school are invited, except Suzy (Bomb), the school outcast. Meanwhile, the girls’ sleazy gym coach Miss Johnson (Rochon) is angling to get invited to hang out with all the buxom girls. But the day quickly turns bloody when a serial killer known only as Chef Death (Cosgrove) shows up in the neighborhood and begins butchering everyone in sight. The girls remain oblivious of the danger and don bikinis for a dip in the hot tub, unaware that Chef Death is about to serve up a murderous main course.

why it’s good: Some movies have to be sought out and the dedicated film lover must hunt in all manner of obscure corners to find a gem. But other movies find you, whether you want them to or not, and such was the case with “Bikini Bloodbath,” which showed up in the Video Vault’s mailbox one recent overcast afternoon. The Video Vault had unwittingly won a contest sponsored by the B-movie blog Lost Highway (check them out online at dchighway.com) and was rewarded with both “Bikini Bloodbath” and its sequel, “Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash,” as well as a bumper sticker that proudly proclaims, “I Brake For Bikini Carwashes,” just in case there was any doubt about the Video Vault’s position on that particular subject. Though never one to turn down a free movie (or a free bumper sticker), we here in the Video Vault did stop to wonder just for a moment how bad “Bikini Bloodbath” could be. And so it was quite a surprise when it turned out that “Bikini Bloodbath” tests the endurance and patience of even the most Zen-like trash cinema fan. It’s bad news all around—boring, stupid and dumber than a sack of silicone. Even the gratuitous nudity is sort of boring, a feat that might at first seem impossible but grows astonishingly easier as “Bloodbath” plods through its 70-minute running time. When there aren’t boobs onscreen, writer/directors Gorman and Seymour fill the rest of the time with inane dialogue and an increasingly off-kilter subplot about the high school’s homoerotic football team, as well as some fake blood and faux body parts most likely purchased at those Halloween stores that open each year at the mall. Other attempts at comedy are so absurd that they sort of work—everything in the film, from cars to football players, carries a generic label stating exactly what it is (the football coach’s T-shirt has the word “player” crossed out and the word “coach” written underneath, for example). And then there’s the music: a neo-hair metal soundtrack performed by the band White Liger. Posters for the band show up everywhere, and their music manages to cover up most of the dialogue in a given scene (not necessarily a bad thing, really), wrapping an already cheesy movie in a shroud of feather boas and suffocating tackiness.

why you should own it: There’s no way you should own or watch “Bikini Bloodbath.” But someone out there is watching it—according to Blood Bath Picture’s MySpace page, there are a projected eight(!) films in the “Bikini Bloodbath” series, with “Bikini Bloodbath Christmas” coming out later this year.