Hollywood trends are about as difficult to detect as a fart in an elevator. After the success of “Spiderman” and “X Men” came a stultifying torrent of Marvel comic book movies, including, but not limited to, “The Incredible Hulk,” “Daredevil,” “The Punisher” and “The Fantastic Four.” Next came a rash of half-assed sitcom remakes, like “Starsky and Hutch” (I don’t care what anyone says, that movie was stupid as hell), “Dukes of Hazzard” and even “Fat Albert.” Now, following the success of “Ray,” the latest theme to capture Hollywood’s gluttonous heart appears to be the story of the tragic musician.

Most people agree that “Ray” was a mediocre movie featuring a standout performance by Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles. Hollywood execs seem confident they can mimic the film’s success by plugging other dead musicians/popular actors into the same formula. Perhaps the most promising example is “Walk the Line,” featuring Joaquin Phoenix as the late Johnny Cash. 

I’m holding out some hope that this movie, which opens Nov. 18, might actually be good. Phoenix learned how to play guitar and sing for the role, as did co-star Reese Witherspoon, who plays Cash’s late wife, June Carter. Initial reviews suggest Phoenix might even have outdone Foxx, though it will be interesting to see how well he imitates the haunting tremolo of Cash’s voice. If the film flops, may director James Mangold fall into a burning ring of syphilitic fire.

Bearing equal potential, though slightly more dubious, is an upcoming film about the life of The Who drummer Keith Moon, who will reportedly be played by Mike Myers.

Moon’s life had all the elements of big-budget movie sensationalism. He had fame, wealth, talent and a wild streak that would make Courtney Love blush. Plus, he capped his career by dying young. The film is being produced by Spitfire Pictures and Who singer Roger Daltrey, who has been mulling over the concept for years. It is not yet titled and probably will not open until sometime in 2007.

Third on the list of major Hollywood actors slated to portray rock stars is Elijah Wood. Wood has signed up to play the perennially shirtless Iggy Pop, who is still alive but closely resembles the face of death (though not as much as Keith Richards). I don’t want to rule out the possibility that the film, the shooting of which will begin next year, could turn out to be good. But seriously, how much stage presence could Wood have? I happen to know from a previous movie that the actor is barely three and a half feet tall.

A totally different creature is the recent Gus Van Sandt film “Last Days,” ostensibly based on the life of Kurt Cobain. Reviews for this film have been insanely polarized, with some calling it a brilliant masterpiece and others calling it worse than crap. Regretfully, I cast my ballot for the latter category. The film is literally an hour and a half of a rock star named Blake (Michael Pitt) wandering around all smacked out, muttering to himself and occasionally nodding off. That’s it.

“Last Days” definitely captures the spirit of certain lines from “In Utero,” such as “Teenage angst has paid off well / Now I’m bored and old.” After watching the film, I’m bored, too—and 97 minutes older. As one of the many teenagers afflicted by Nirvana’s cultural revolution of apathy and bitterness in the early ’90s, I was anxious to have the dusky caverns of Cobain’s tortured mind illumined. But the film does not reveal anything except that drugs made Kurt behave erratically. Enlightening.